Preventing Abuse
Listen to and believe children
Listening to children tells children they are important.
In this section, you will find some simple tips about why and how we should listen to all children. Click here
It also gives some valuable information about why and how we should listen to and believe children when they tell us about abuse or neglect. Click here
Finding ways to listen to children
Spend time with children listening to their point of view.
Sometimes children do not speak because they are not given the opportunity. Try to make sure there is space in your family for everyone to be heard.
Listening means not only hearing the words but working out the feelings behind the words.
Listen to the things that are not said. For many, behaviour speaks louder than words. What is your child trying to tell you?
Be a patient listener. Allow your child time to tell his or her story. Don’t jump in before the story is finished. Don’t finish children’s sentences.
Be an enthusiastic listener. Share in your child’s excitement.
Help children to express their thoughts and feelings by helping them to find the words or other ways to communicate with you.
Believing children
Children must often overcome many hurdles in order to disclose their abuse – fear of being further abused, fear of being blamed, fear that they will be in trouble. Many children have been threatened if they tell anyone about their abuse. Others are repeatedly told that they will not be believed if they tell. As a result many children never disclose to anyone about the abuse they are experiencing. They remain frightened, alone and unprotected.
The reactions of adults make a major difference to the short and long term effects of abuse on children and young people. It is critical to believe children when they tell you about their experiences of abuse or neglect.
Believing starts with listening and keeping an open mind to what children and young people tell us. Children rarely lie about abuse and neglect. Speaking out is rarely easy for them. It is far too difficult for children not to tell the truth.
Here are a few simple ways that you can make a difference to a child who tells you about his/her abuse:
Do
- Believe the child
- Be calm, supportive and reassuring
- Reassure the child that the abuse is not their fault
- Concentrate on the child’s feelings rather than on questions and answers
- Explain what you are going to do now that you have been told
Don’t
- Make promises that you can’t keep
- Promise secrecy
- Push the child to give details of the abuse
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